A MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS
1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.
2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we
can.
3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.
4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.
6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.
7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.
9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.
11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.
12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.
13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up.
14. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wan
Saturday, October 15, 2011
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man my son!
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man my son!
INTRSTNG INFO
♫ INTRSTNG INFO!!! itz need 1500 days 2 complete a BTech dergree... but most funny thng is dat, if we sleep 7hrs in a day den we sleep in 15000 days=10500 hrs...i.e., 437.5 days= 1yr 2 mnths 12 days... And evry sat n sun days r off, 96 days in one yr..means fr 4yrs=384 days=1yr 19days..Total summer vacatns in 4yrs=8mnths....means we r gng 2 b an engineer only 9mnths attndng d clg!!!!!!!!!!! JAI HO ENGINEER
shortcut keys for My Computer and Windows Explorer
Using shortcut keys for My Computer and Windows Explorer
To Press
Close the selected folder and all of its parent folders SHIFT while clicking the Close button
(My Computer only)
Move backward to a previous view ALT+LEFT ARROW
Move forward to a previous view ALT+RIGHT ARROW
View the folder one level up BACKSPACE
Using shortcut keys for the desktop, My Computer, and Windows Explorer
When an item is selected, you can use the following shortcut keys:
To Press
Bypass AutoPlay when inserting a compact disc SHIFT while inserting the CDROM
Copy a file CTRL while dragging the file
Create a shortcut CTRL+SHIFT while dragging
the
file
Delete an item immediately without placing it in the Recycle
Bin
SHIFT+DELETE
Display Find: All Files F3
Display the item’s shortcut menu APPLICATION key
Refresh the contents of a window F5
Rename an item F2
Select all items CTRL+A
View an item’s properties ALT+ENTER or
ALT+DOUBLECLICK
You can use the APPLICATION key with a Microsoft Natural Keyboard or any other
compatible keyboard that includes the APPLICATION key.
Using shortcut keys for Windows Explorer
To Press
Collapse the current selection if it is expanded -Or- Select the
parent
folder >>>>>> LEFT ARROW
Collapse the selected folder NUM LOCK+MINUS SIGN
(-)
Expand the current selection if it is collapsed -Or- Select the
first
subfolder >>>>> RIGHT ARROW
Expand all folders below the current selection NUM LOCK+*
Expand the selected folder NUM LOCK+PLUS SIGN
(+)
Switch between left and right panes F6
Using shortcut keys for Windows Explorer
To Press
Collapse the current selection if it is expanded -Or- Select the
parent
folder LEFT ARROW
Collapse the selected folder NUM Lock + SIGN (-)
Expand the current selection if it is collapsed -Or- Select the
first
subfolder RIGHT ARROW
Expand all folders below the current selection NUM LOCK + *
Expand the selected folder NUM LOCK + SIGN (+)
Switch between left and right panes F6
Using shortcut keys in dialog boxes
To Press
Cancel the current task ESC
Click a button if the current control is a button -Or- Select or clear the
check
box if the current control is a check box -Or- Click the option if the current
control is an option button >>>>>>> SPACEBAR
Click the corresponding command ALT + underlined
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> letter
Click the selected button ENTER
Move backward through options SHIFT + TAB
Move backward through tabs CTRL + SHIFT
>>>>>>>>>>>>> +TAB
Move forward through options TAB
Move forward through tabs CTRL + TAB
Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open
dialog
box >>>>>>>>>>>>> BACKSPACE
Open Save In or Look In in the Save As or Open dialog box F4
Refresh the Save As or Open dialog box F5
Using shortcut keys in Windows
To Press
Activate the menu bar in programs F10
Carry out the corresponding command on the menu ALT+underlined letter in
menu
Close the current window in (MDI) programs. CTRL+F4
Close the current window or quit a program ALT+F4
Copy CTRL+C
Cut CTRL+X
Delete DELETE
Display Help on the selected dialog box item F1
Display the current window’s system menu ALT+SPACEBAR
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item SHIFT+F10
Display the Start menu CTRL+ESC
Display the system menu for MDI programs ALT+HYPHEN (-)
Paste CTRL+V
Switch to the window you last used -Or- Switch to another window
by
holding down ALT while repeatedly pressing TAB ALT+TAB
Undo CTRL+Z
Using the WINDOWS key
You can use the following keyboard shortcuts with a Microsoft Natural Keyboard or any
other compatible keyboard that includes the Windows logo key .
To Press
Cycle through buttons on the taskbar WINDOWS+TAB
Display Find: All Files WINDOWS+F
Display Find: Computer CTRL+WINDOWS+F
Display Help WINDOWS+F1
Display the Run command WINDOWS+R
Display the Start menu WINDOWS
Display the System Properties dialog box WINDOWS+BREAK
Display Windows Explorer WINDOWS+E
Minimize or restore all windows WINDOWS+D
Undo minimize all windows SHIFT+WINDOWS+M
To check for disk errors when your computer starts
In your StartUp folder, right-click ScanDisk.
If you don’t have ScanDisk in your StartUp folder, see Notes.
Click Properties.
On the Shortcut tab, type one or more of the following after the text that appears in
Target:
Type To
x: (substitute the drive letter for x) Specify the drive you want to check.
/a Check all your local hard disks.
/n Start and quit ScanDisk automatically.
/p Prevent ScanDisk from correcting any errors it finds.
Notes
• To check drive D and start and quit ScanDisk automatically, in Target, type:
c:\windows\scandskw.exe d: /n
• To check all hard disks but prevent ScanDisk from correcting any errors it finds,
in Target, type:
c:\windows\scandskw.exe /a /p
To Press
Close the selected folder and all of its parent folders SHIFT while clicking the Close button
(My Computer only)
Move backward to a previous view ALT+LEFT ARROW
Move forward to a previous view ALT+RIGHT ARROW
View the folder one level up BACKSPACE
Using shortcut keys for the desktop, My Computer, and Windows Explorer
When an item is selected, you can use the following shortcut keys:
To Press
Bypass AutoPlay when inserting a compact disc SHIFT while inserting the CDROM
Copy a file CTRL while dragging the file
Create a shortcut CTRL+SHIFT while dragging
the
file
Delete an item immediately without placing it in the Recycle
Bin
SHIFT+DELETE
Display Find: All Files F3
Display the item’s shortcut menu APPLICATION key
Refresh the contents of a window F5
Rename an item F2
Select all items CTRL+A
View an item’s properties ALT+ENTER or
ALT+DOUBLECLICK
You can use the APPLICATION key with a Microsoft Natural Keyboard or any other
compatible keyboard that includes the APPLICATION key.
Using shortcut keys for Windows Explorer
To Press
Collapse the current selection if it is expanded -Or- Select the
parent
folder >>>>>> LEFT ARROW
Collapse the selected folder NUM LOCK+MINUS SIGN
(-)
Expand the current selection if it is collapsed -Or- Select the
first
subfolder >>>>> RIGHT ARROW
Expand all folders below the current selection NUM LOCK+*
Expand the selected folder NUM LOCK+PLUS SIGN
(+)
Switch between left and right panes F6
Using shortcut keys for Windows Explorer
To Press
Collapse the current selection if it is expanded -Or- Select the
parent
folder LEFT ARROW
Collapse the selected folder NUM Lock + SIGN (-)
Expand the current selection if it is collapsed -Or- Select the
first
subfolder RIGHT ARROW
Expand all folders below the current selection NUM LOCK + *
Expand the selected folder NUM LOCK + SIGN (+)
Switch between left and right panes F6
Using shortcut keys in dialog boxes
To Press
Cancel the current task ESC
Click a button if the current control is a button -Or- Select or clear the
check
box if the current control is a check box -Or- Click the option if the current
control is an option button >>>>>>> SPACEBAR
Click the corresponding command ALT + underlined
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> letter
Click the selected button ENTER
Move backward through options SHIFT + TAB
Move backward through tabs CTRL + SHIFT
>>>>>>>>>>>>> +TAB
Move forward through options TAB
Move forward through tabs CTRL + TAB
Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open
dialog
box >>>>>>>>>>>>> BACKSPACE
Open Save In or Look In in the Save As or Open dialog box F4
Refresh the Save As or Open dialog box F5
Using shortcut keys in Windows
To Press
Activate the menu bar in programs F10
menu
Close the current window in (MDI) programs. CTRL+F4
Close the current window or quit a program ALT+F4
Copy CTRL+C
Cut CTRL+X
Delete DELETE
Display Help on the selected dialog box item F1
Display the current window’s system menu ALT+SPACEBAR
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item SHIFT+F10
Display the Start menu CTRL+ESC
Display the system menu for MDI programs ALT+HYPHEN (-)
Paste CTRL+V
Switch to the window you last used -Or- Switch to another window
by
holding down ALT while repeatedly pressing TAB ALT+TAB
Undo CTRL+Z
Using the WINDOWS key
You can use the following keyboard shortcuts with a Microsoft Natural Keyboard or any
other compatible keyboard that includes the Windows logo key .
To Press
Cycle through buttons on the taskbar WINDOWS+TAB
Display Find: All Files WINDOWS+F
Display Find: Computer CTRL+WINDOWS+F
Display Help WINDOWS+F1
Display the Run command WINDOWS+R
Display the Start menu WINDOWS
Display the System Properties dialog box WINDOWS+BREAK
Display Windows Explorer WINDOWS+E
Minimize or restore all windows WINDOWS+D
Undo minimize all windows SHIFT+WINDOWS+M
To check for disk errors when your computer starts
In your StartUp folder, right-click ScanDisk.
If you don’t have ScanDisk in your StartUp folder, see Notes.
Click Properties.
On the Shortcut tab, type one or more of the following after the text that appears in
Target:
Type To
x: (substitute the drive letter for x) Specify the drive you want to check.
/a Check all your local hard disks.
/n Start and quit ScanDisk automatically.
/p Prevent ScanDisk from correcting any errors it finds.
Notes
• To check drive D and start and quit ScanDisk automatically, in Target, type:
c:\windows\scandskw.exe d: /n
• To check all hard disks but prevent ScanDisk from correcting any errors it finds,
in Target, type:
c:\windows\scandskw.exe /a /p
lovely lines
Agar aapko life main 2 baar pyar hota hai to hamesha 2nd pyar hi select karo bcoz,agar aapka 1st pyar sachcha hota to dusra pyar kabhi nahi hota
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
yun palat jaaye meri zindgi to kya baat hai
Kitabo ke panno ko palat ke sochta hun, yu palat jaaye meri zindgi to kya baat hai.
Khwabo mai roz milte hai jo mujhe, aaj hakikat mai aa jaye to kya baat hai.
Kuch matalb ke liye dhundte hai mujhe,bin matlab koi aaye to kya baat hai.
Katl katke to sab le jaaye dil mera, koi pyari baato se le jaaye to kya baat h.
Jo sharifo ki sharafat me baat na ho, ek sharabi keh jaaye to kya baat h.
Apne jinda rhne tak to khusi dunga subko,je kisi ko meri maut khusi de jaaye to kya baat hai....
Khwabo mai roz milte hai jo mujhe, aaj hakikat mai aa jaye to kya baat hai.
Kuch matalb ke liye dhundte hai mujhe,bin matlab koi aaye to kya baat hai.
Katl katke to sab le jaaye dil mera, koi pyari baato se le jaaye to kya baat h.
Jo sharifo ki sharafat me baat na ho, ek sharabi keh jaaye to kya baat h.
Apne jinda rhne tak to khusi dunga subko,je kisi ko meri maut khusi de jaaye to kya baat hai....
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Tomato Story
Tomato Story
A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test..
'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.
'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job..'
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ..
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.....
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire.. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
Moral of the story
Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life..
Moral 2
If you don't have an Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire..........
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